Vacation Planning
Office Tip: When you’re the boss, plan your vacations wisely, as no work will get done while you’re gone.
Identify Your Lunch
Office Tip: Write your name on your lunch before you put it into the office fridge. That way, the lunch thief will know whose food he’s eating.
Calling Out Incarcerated
Bad: Having a friend call out of work for you. Worse: Having a friend call out of work for you because you’re in jail.
Avoid The Bieber
If you don’t know who Justin Bieber is, don’t watch a video at work to find out. If you’re caught, no one will believe that is the reason you’re watching the video. And, chances are, word of the incident will spread like wild fire.
Print Responsibly
If you’re applying for a job with a competitor, don’t leave a print out of the competitor’s job ad on the company printer.
Shhhhh
If you work in a cubicle, don’t forget that everyone can hear your phone conversations, including the ones about your ex-wife’s infidelity….
Burping Is Just Gross
Your ability to burp words and/or complete sentences is a skill best saved for parties, if you feel you MUST share it. It is, however, never, EVER appropriate for the office. EVER!
Fist Bumps Are Not Cool
Cleverly poking fun at someone at work isn’t bad… But when you request a fist bump to acknowledge your joke was funny, suddenly you don’t seem as cool.
Lounging
Never sit in this position at work; it’s virtually impossible to get any work done from this position.
Note: If you’re the boss, it’s okay to sit in this position.
